Slow living, Mental Health and the Holidays. What you need to know.

Suicide is always a big, tough topic. When it happens it shakes the people around and puts everything in perspective.

The holidays can be a tough time of year for many people. There is extra stress (financial, physical and emotional), high demands, we remember those we have lost, the days are long and dark, etc.

There is this overwhelming feeling of togetherness and it can often just make people feel more alone. A forced level of happiness and if you're not happy that can be really hard.

At the end of high school and in university (and a bit beyond) I struggled severely with depression and anxiety. I hid it from the world. I never tried to commit suicide but I wrote many letters. Letters of apology, telling whoever they were intended for, that things would be better if I was no longer a burden to them. 

There were many heavy moments. Have you felt those sentiments before? Have you felt the heaviness, the overwhelm, the desire to call it quits?

I am here for you because I know how heavy that is to carry.

Something that I found, just a couple of years ago, is called Slow Living. I have written other blogs about this topic before and I think it is such an important topic to discuss.

Check out these different blogs I have written on Slow Living:

What is Slow Living and How can it be Helpful in Modern Society

My Journey to Slow Living from an Intensely Hustle Based Life

Slow Living is the Greatest Act of Self-Love

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

 Slow living is a beautiful state of intentionality. I know that's not really a definition (it won't be good for the SEO) but that's okay.

It's not about doing everything slower and getting nothing done. It's more about slowing down simple acts enough that you are doing that act intentionally, mindfully and being present while you're doing it.

It's about seeing the little things, experiencing the little things. 

We often go through life completely detached from the world around us. We miss out on the small details, the little moments that make life truly beautiful. Everything is hustle, fast-paced and "get it over with." We rush through everything and don't really notice anything.

This can make it really hard to find a reason to keep living. Why life is worth living. I've been there. I was so lost in my own world that it felt like there was nothing good in the world (including me) and it wasn't worth sticking around for.

The holidays were especially hard. I loved them. Everything about them but I found I felt so inadequate during them.

Not having the money to get the people I loved everything I wanted, lots of time alone or in uncomfortable situations I didn't want to be in. Time with family actually made me feel like more of an outcast, more alone. I never felt comfortable.

When I was with someone it could often feel like an unhealthy reliance and when I was single it felt like I was very alone.

Why can slow living help?

Practicing simple slow living techniques allows you to slow down, slow your whole body and system down, helps with nervous system dysregulation, it quiets the mind, it allows you to notice the small moments, the beautiful moments.

Those are the moments that you'll remember when you need to be reminded that there is good in the world.

Ideas for slow living activities you can do this holiday season:

1. Slow breakfast - Create a comfy spot, have no screens and eat mindfully. Slow down your chewing and movements and give yourself a couple of extra minutes
2. Go for a walk in nature and turn your headphones off
3. If you have a fireplace (real or fake) take a few minutes with your coffee or tea and sit in front of it taking slow purposeful sips - Watch the fire and really smell and taste your drink
4. In the evening, take some time off of screens. Find an activity you enjoy off screens, have your house quiet (if you can) and just listen
5. Go drive or walk around looking at Christmas lights 
6. Listen to a slower instrumental song. Not while you're doing something else but just sit and listen to it all the way through
7. Write a gratitude list
8. Start doing a 5-minute meditation when you can take a quiet moment
9. On your lunch break, take 5 quiet minutes to yourself before or after you have interacted with others. If you have a lunch room where there are a lot of people, a lot of stimulation and a lot of busyness take a few moments to breathe and regulate your nervous system before or after
10. Cook a meal by yourself. Don't rush through it or have people coming in and out of the kitchen. If you live with others request that they go find something else to do and save their thoughts for after your done

Yes, with small kids this is hard. It's not about perfection it's about taking even just a minute to do it. The more you do it the better it will feel and the easier it will be.

Get your spouse or family involved. Be honest and open about what you're doing and trying to do. Your mental health is important regardless of what else you have going on or who you have to take care of.

If you never focus on taking care of your mental health the people around you still won't get what they need and neither are you so no one is winning. This is not a judgment, it's a reminder.

I hurt a lot of people when I was at my lowest. Some of those caused irreparable damage. I also suffered trauma because I had adults in my life growing up who didn't take care of their own needs, ended up doing drugs and alcohol to cope and cause harm that they can't take back.

I know those are some of the more extreme examples and that doesn't happen to everyone but mental health is a serious matter and you need to know that you are not alone. You are so loved and your family is there to support you.

Mental health challenges, especially during the holidays, do not make you weak. The fact that you have gotten by means that you are so incredibly strong. If you need a minute or 5 to simply just be still and see what's going on around you, ask for it.

You will never know the difference something as simple as that can be until you try.

You deserve this. You are a beautiful light and you deserve to feel happy and your best and your family and kids deserve it too. They love seeing you happy and healthy.

Wishing you and your family a wonderful season. Take care and stay healthy <3

For more articles on mental health and stress check these out:

Does Food Really have an Impact on our Mental Health

[Blue Zones Series] The Power of Slow: Stress Management

Bell Let's Talk Day: My Story of Mental Health

How to Stay Body and Mind Positive During the Holiday Season

A Positive Love Note for this Season

The Importance of Mental Wellness

5 Ways to Handle the Rush of Emotion that come from Opening the Flood Gate

3 Reasons Why you might be Extra Susceptible to Burnout

5 Effective Burn-Out Strategies for Business Owners during the Holidays