Not into birthdays? Here's one great reason to get into them!

Uncategorized Apr 28, 2022

I am really into birthdays... Now. But I hear a lot from other people that they hate them.

I didn't always love birthdays. In fact, at the start of my twenties, I said each birthday I was "21 for the X time" and just didn't want to admit I was aging.

It took until my 24th or 25th birthday probably to really get into them.

And while I'm super into birthdays I'm not dependent on other people making my birthday great and for me, that's an awesome thing.

I used to be. I hated birthdays because I always felt disappointed by them.

One year I tried to organize a dinner for my birthday and I invited all of my friends (probably 10 or more people) and only one person showed up. She and I had a fabulous time but I couldn't help but feel really disappointed and sad. I felt like no one liked me and that I was alone.

It wasn't until later that I discovered that I'm an Enneagram 6 and friends, loyalty and trust are the big defining traits and that as a person with ADHD I have a really hard time with Rejection Dysphoria Syndrome so things may have been distorted.

I have felt at times disappointed by gifts others have given me on my birthday because they don't make me feel like my friend "really knows me" and I have had awful guilt about that. I felt like I was a selfish and bratty person.

So I went on not liking birthdays until I heard this one phrase...

"If you can't celebrate yourself on your birthday, for making it another year, what is worth celebrating in your life?"

Honestly, it stopped me dead in my tracks.

I really started to think about it and it was true. What was worth celebrating? I was simply just going through life and downplaying every achievement unless it was this big astronomical thing.

But why wouldn't living another year be a "big astronomical thing?"

I think it was Oprah who said that not everyone gets another turn around the sun, not everyone gets another birthday. Some people don't make it to their 30th birthday, their 20th birthday or even their 5th birthday. So you should feel lucky, you should feel grateful, you should celebrate the heck out of the fact that you were given another year.

I'm paraphrasing of course but that's the gist of it.

So, one year I decided to take things into my own hands.

I took myself out.

I'm an introvert so I genuinely enjoy my own company and I like that I have created an annual birthday tradition.

I do the same thing each year and I know that it's exactly what I want so I am never disappointed.

🎁 I take myself out for lunch at my favourite restaurant in town.
🎁 I go and buy myself a really fancy, boujee, expensive book from the fancy bookstore. This is a book I have picked out on the birthday before. Throughout the year I will periodically go back and check on that book until my birthday rolls around again.
🎁 I take my new book with me for tea and cake at the little tea shop right next door to the fancy bookstore. They serve you tea on a silver platter. So I enjoy some tea and cake, slowly with no set timings.
🎁 Then I often walk around the inner harbour and grab my birthday Starbucks drink.
🎁 In the past two years I have added a little trip to the "woo woo" store and grabbed myself a crystal or two for fun.

So many things changed when I began doing this for myself.

First, my birthday became something I looked forward to. I knew I would get a special day and a new fancy book to drool over. I would get to do everything that I loved doing without someone else agenda. I knew I could satisfy myself and I could guarantee that my birthday would be a great day every year.

Second, I no longer felt disappointed by others. In fact, I actually became more grateful and excited. See, doing what I wanted ensured that I got things I loved and wanted and was automatically satisfied. So the gifts and attention I got from other people were an unexpected bonus. It was no longer an expected part of my birthday.

Since it was unexpected it became exciting when it happened. It made me feel so loved and I knew I was surrounded by such wonderful people. Even when someone says happy birthday the day after or even later now it's like "I wasn't expecting anyone to say anything so even that fact that you wanted to and you were thinking of me makes me feel amazing."

Third, I am filled with gratitude and love for getting older. Every birthday that I get to have means that I was blessed with having another year on this planet. It breaks my heart knowing that there are a lot of people who do not make it to the age I am. I am one of the lucky ones and that is certainly worth celebrating.

Fourth, since I now think of birthdays as one of the best things to celebrate it makes me celebrate a lot of other things I used to take for granted. In business, I celebrate all my wins, big or small. That makes reaching these milestones so exciting. Excitement provides me with motivation to keep going, to keep working hard.

Business isn't always easy so finding ways to keep us going is so important.


Now, I'm not here to guilt you into celebrating your birthday. That is entirely your choice. The best part about getting this human experience is that we get to make these choices.

This was simply about telling you the reason I now love birthdays and if you were looking for an excuse to love them, a permission slip to celebrate then I've got a great one.

Birthdays can be hard for people. The first birthday after losing a loved one or a baby. Feeling so stressed or struggling with your mental health. Feeling guilty. So many things can make birthday's really hard.

What do you think? Are you going to take yourself out on your next birthday?

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